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Welcome to
Insta-Prophecy Hotline
We see the end of the world, so you don't have to.*
*Prophecies dictated do not reflect the views of IPH. Injuries sustained up to, during and in the aftermath of said prophecy are by no means IPH’s liability. Side effects upon having your prophecy revealed to you may include nausea, dizziness, severe bouts of anxiety, debilitating laughter, incontinence, denial, fainting, falling into a suddenly forming volcano, spontaneous combustion, snakes on a plane, disappearing into the Bermuda or Dragon’s Triangle and/or sudden death. This is not a complete list of all side effects that may occur. Please contact your physician before seeking out your prophecy. If you’re still reading this, then you’ve been warned. If you’re not, well, we tried. Namaste.
Meet the Head Seer!
Alyanora - Seer
"I would read the warning on our business card. I will not be responsible for another heart attack... Again"
Seer at Insta-Prophecy Hotline, she’s been at this for a very long time. She’s the gate keeper, the truth seeker, and the every flighty figurehead of an organization responsible for preventing the end of the world. (Trust me, it happens more often than you’d think.)
She knows all the players in the end-of-days visions, even if you don’t. So, if you’re destined to end the world, keep an eye out because she will swoop in and lay one hell of a bomb on your front door.
Recent Blog Posts
Quarantine Day 27
How is toilet paper still a scarcity? I might have solved that question.
Quarantine Day 9
Preparing for my first outing and it’s to Costco… It’s a warzone out there.
Quarantine Day 7
Man Down! I mean, FISH DOWN! Lost a fish, guys, but it wasn’t because of COVID 19. In this episode, we reminisce about fish and the slow loss of sanity during Quarantine.
Quarantine Day 5
I like pets, but when those pets start to include flies. We might have a problem. Also, Honey badgers are great animals, but don’t start acting like one!
Quarantine Day 3
Social Distancing is at full swing, Boyfriend has to pack up his lab and bring it home, and Ice Cream trucks are apparently essential personnel and have to be on the streets… for the people!
Quarantine Day 1
When the world shuts down because of COVID 19, I feel the particular need to document its passing.
Quarantine Day 27
How is toilet paper still a scarcity? I might have solved that question.
Quarantine Day 9
Preparing for my first outing and it’s to Costco… It’s a warzone out there.
Quarantine Day 7
Man Down! I mean, FISH DOWN! Lost a fish, guys, but it wasn’t because of COVID 19. In this episode, we reminisce about fish and the slow loss of sanity during Quarantine.
Quarantine Day 5
I like pets, but when those pets start to include flies. We might have a problem. Also, Honey badgers are great animals, but don’t start acting like one!
Quarantine Day 3
Social Distancing is at full swing, Boyfriend has to pack up his lab and bring it home, and Ice Cream trucks are apparently essential personnel and have to be on the streets… for the people!
Quarantine Day 1
When the world shuts down because of COVID 19, I feel the particular need to document its passing.
Quarantine Day 27
How is toilet paper still a scarcity? I might have solved that question.
Quarantine Day 9
Preparing for my first outing and it’s to Costco… It’s a warzone out there.
Quarantine Day 7
Man Down! I mean, FISH DOWN! Lost a fish, guys, but it wasn’t because of COVID 19. In this episode, we reminisce about fish and the slow loss of sanity during Quarantine.
Quarantine Day 5
I like pets, but when those pets start to include flies. We might have a problem. Also, Honey badgers are great animals, but don’t start acting like one!
Quarantine Day 3
Social Distancing is at full swing, Boyfriend has to pack up his lab and bring it home, and Ice Cream trucks are apparently essential personnel and have to be on the streets… for the people!
Quarantine Day 1
When the world shuts down because of COVID 19, I feel the particular need to document its passing.